Stole this from the same girl as the previous posts. 

 

 

Labels

 

As an adult, I’ve realized that having a girlfriend/boyfriend isn’t just about dating or even being exclusive. It’s part of your image. Some parents may advise you not to date the wrong people bc it may ruin your image. This pertains to both men and women.

 

When you’re in high school and college, if you’re romantically involved with a person, he/she is your boyfriend/girlfriend. You start “going out”. When you’re an adult, it’s a lot more complicated than that. You don’t hand out these labels with ease anymore.

 

I’ve witnessed a few girls get superior treatment but no girlfriend label. I don’t think the guy was dating other people. He just didn’t want a gf. You’re directly associated with a person if you are a girlfriend/boyfriend.

 

Some women and men don’t want to have official labels. Some women may feel cheap and feel hurt if the guy clearly says you are just dating and points out to people that the girl is NOT his girlfriend. Other guys may have gfs but cheat on the gf.

 

What do you think of labels? Important or not important at all???

 

In the 25+ world, it matters. Casual dating needs no mention. Giving/having that label has much more value. If a guy/girl doesn’t want to give it to you, that’s a HUGE sign.

 

For what it’s worth, I think labels are over-rated.   In the end, they mean nothing.  All that matters is how the person feels about you. 

stole this from the same girl as previous posts.

Happy Internet Couples

 

They met via Asian Avenue, match.com, Xanga, JDate….I feel like many of these couples are significantly happier than any real life couple that I know. ALL the real couples I know have a shitload of problems.

 

The traditional way people date in my world: Guy meets Girl at a bar, school event, church, family gathering, etc. Guy thinks Girl is cute. Girl thinks guy is cute. They start talking, hanging out, hooking up, maybe falling in love.

 

The process of eliminating the guy/girl is drawn out bc of physical attraction. Lust/chemistry/whatever you want to call it tends to make people more tolerant of negative characteristics of a person.

 

In real life, you’re drawn to looks first. On the net, you’re drawn to personality.

 

I know this one guy who is smart but an asshole. Unless he had his MIT alma mater stamped to his forehead, I don’t think any girl would look twice at him. Then one day, the asshole guy brings out this really cute girl. They met via the internet. I highly doubt they would have hit it off in a normal real life scenario. They seemed really happy together and last time I heard were engaged.

 

A few years ago I met this one girl who had a fiancé she met via the internet. I think they had chatted/emailed for MONTHS and met up somewhere like Tokyo or Hong Kong. They hit it off but were constantly separated by thousands of miles. This long distance relationship (which I would normally consider imaginary) seemed to work. They had real feelings, real emotions.

 

Perhaps it’s better to develop an emotional connection before a physical connection?

 

Do you think internet couples have a better chance in the long haul??? Or is it the same, just a different venue of meeting?

how can i believe in something
when you’re never here?
i’m not even sure i need this
how can i believe?

–blu sanders.  “get in the car and drive”

I stole this from the same girl on Xangas as noted below in my previous post.  I think i just might steal ALL her posts.  cuz i just dont have anything to say. 

 

 

Chemistry

 

At the end of the day, it’s about chemistry. An imperfect guy may just be adorable. Then you can be handed a picture perfect guy and just not feel anything.

 

There have been a few guys I really wish I could have liked. I loved their personality. I loved spending time with them. Other girls may have gushed over them but I simply didn’t feel it. The idea of them kissing me grosses me out.

 

I think I’ve dated resumes in the past. I go out on dates with stacked resumes when there is ZERO chemistry. Good conversation does not equal chemistry. Good looks don’t equal chemistry either.

 

I have a friend from college who is really cute. Whenever my friends meet him, they think he’s really hot and ask me why I don’t hook up with him. He is really attractive but I feel no chemistry.

 

Is chemistry just lust?

 

Last year one of my single friends was being pursued by a low occupation guy. He didn’t go to college. My friend wasn’t interested in him. He was cute with a great personality. I told my friend to go for it. She snapped, “LIChunsaH, you would NEVER date a guy like that.” Actually I think I would. Those types of guys just never pursue me.

 

When it comes down to it, it’s how you feel when they are near you. Does he make your heart beat faster? Do you want him to come closer? Does he make you smile?

 

Perhaps this doesn’t pertain to males since just about ANYTHING can get them excited if they haven’t been laid for 1 or 2 days, let alone 6 months. Maybe guys will confuse sexual frustration and/or being horny with chemistry.  (I really like this sentence I just wrote. lol I like how I amuse myself. hehe)

I stole this from someone on xanga. yes, i stole it.  get over it. 

The Search for the “One”

 

I think the search for the one can cripple a person’s happiness.

 

There are so many reasons why the person you are dating could not be the one. He drinks too much. She slept with too many guys. He isn’t very motivated. She has no goals. He comes from a poor family. She is too needy. He is the eldest son and he needs to live with his mother. She isn’t smart enough. His brother sucks. She comes from a divorced family. He isn’t Christian. She is the wrong kind of Chinese. He stopped trying. She is getting fat. He has poor table manners. She isn’t classy enough. blah blah blah

 

I’ve heard it so many times. Guys and girls ending relationships bc after a yr or two or three, one or both people in the relationship start thinking the person they have been in a relationship is not the magical one.

 

You can have this fabulous girl or guy and you just don’t feel “it”. But what is “it”?

 

Most likely if you’ve dated for a long time, at some point you had “it”.

 

I really think it is all about timing. A 22 yr old guy may not appreciate the perfect girl who liked him in accounting class while he was too interested in banging some slutty looking chick with nicer boobs. A 21 yr old may have been blinded by loving some loser while the sweetest guy stood by her for years and she never took notice.

 

One day, a guy or girl may feel ready to settle down. Then they find someone who feels right and magically they found the “one”.

 

Some people don’t even begin to date a person bc they already know he/she is not the one. (Girls do this more as they get older bc their precious time is running out.) But how will you know if he/she is not the one if you don’t even know him/her yet?

 

 

Pottyboomy comments:

 

The more and more I think about it…..I dont think there’s such a thing as “the one.”  I think it’s kind of  a bunch of bologna that people tell themselves to make themselves feel better about life and the decisions that they make.  It’s like people believing in God or something……I’m not saying that i DONT believe in god….but i’m also not saying that i DO.    I was gonna write more but…..maybe later. 

 

 

 

I also stole this from the same girl on xanga. yes, i stole it.  get over it. 

After the Honeymoon Phase

One of my guy friends calls me last night. His gf is bitching at him in the background to get off the phone bc his voice is keeping her up. I found this in itself to be amusing bc my guy friend is totally not the type to put up with that type of situation. He used to be Mr. Social and one of those guys who knew every pretty girl. I know you know these types of guys…

Without even knowing the girl, I already know she’s very pretty and has a nice body. Amongst most of the guys I know, this guy has great taste in women. (I think you are totally shallow about looks.) I picture her to be a complete princess, very demanding and probably very sharp.

So they’ve been dating for many years now and have been living together for a while now as well. When you are over 25 and have been dating your bf/gf for 2-5 years, it’s pretty common for people to ask you if you think you guys will get married.

He’s like all hesitant and says she is pushing the marriage issue. Then he says he’ll probably marry her and be a bitter old man. haha How romantic does that sound??? It’s like marriage proposal under duress.

I have no doubt in my mind that at one point they were head over heels in love. But what about after the honeymoon phase??? All honeymoon phases end sooner or later. Since they’ve been living together for a while, it isn’t like something will drastically change if they actually got married.

One older girl once told me not to wait too long to get married bc she said if you date someone for too long, the romance disappears and your relationship becomes platonic. She had dated her BF for ten years and they never got married. They didn’t get married, not bc they didn’t love one another but bc their romantic relationship turned into friendship.

Her advice to me: Date someone for like a year or two, get engaged, spend a year planning a beautiful wedding, have a newlywed life, then have children. She said if you date for too long, you get cheated of the honeymoon phase of marriage or will never get married at all.

Ack, all my friends have been breaking up with their long-term BFs and then I hear of these girls who get married after like 3 months of dating. I’m beginning to think it’s all about timing.

A 28-29 year old male may look for a decent girl to marry while there is probably no way a 22 year old male would be ready. I think most girls are always ready as long as they meet the right guy.

 

 

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will pay no mind
When I wont and it wont cause it cant
It just cant
Its not supposed to