Blast from the past…(yesterday)
Arwin. I immediately recognized her name……I was at the hospital the other night visting a friend of mine who had some surgery, and this blonde haired-hippie girl, name: Arwin, was there visting him as well…..she didn’t remember me, nor did I remember her (well, except her name…and i remember her being kinda cute in high school)…..supposedly she dropped out in 7th or 8th grade……she told me a story about how she took a year to travel around the United States w/ her boyfriend…..they were in an old, ready-to-break-down-at-any-moment kinda van…..
that’s something that’s always appealed to me for some reason…..traveling around in a van, seeing the sights of the country, meeting different people……that’s yet ANOTHER thing that i admire about Matt (Nathanson)…..but more on that later.
to make money, she basically had to beg for it, but it doesn’t sound like she made out too badly, either. some parts of the country she could make well over $100 an hour, even more with her dog. granted, she saw a lot of the dark side during that time….coming into contact w/ all sorts of people, and even was almost raped when she had to hitchhike to a location to beg for money. After talking to her for a few minutes, i was dying to learn more about her adventure. Granted, I’m sure that it wasn’t easy…but what in life IS easy????
Everyone says you only get 1 life to live, so you should do what you want to do….follow your heart, blah blah blah…..but who follows their heart nowadays anyway? I’ve been thinking a lot about moving to California…just packing my stuff up and going……it’s not that i’m not happy here in NY…..granted i’m not totally satisfied w/ everything in my life, but who is…? Really, I just feel like there’s gotta be MORE……more what you ask? …..more to life maybe. I think that’s a song by Hillary Duff…..*goes to check Google.com*
nope, it’s Stacy Orrico….oh well. Anyway, back to what I was saying……they say that 20somethings after college have a state of anxiety and ….**looks it up on google.com**
quarterlife crisis (KWOR.tur.lyf KRY.sus) n. Feelings of confusion, anxiety, and self-doubt experienced by some people in their twenties, especially after completing their education.
yeah. that. I think it’s more that prior to college, and even AFTER college, and even when I started working….I just felt that life was FULL of possibilities. fuck, no. ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES. like anything was possible. that the world was my oyster. I’m not quite sure I feel that way anymore. At some point the career becomes a job, the days fade to weeks, and the weeks fade to months…….and u wonder what the hell you’re doing it for.
….Endless Possibilities (today.)
I still feel that way sometimes. I feel that way a hell of a lot more now than a month or two ago……..which is a good thing.
I heard a good quote on Oprah the other day….I was just flipping channels….and then i heard Oprah say something profound…..she said that “every mistake we make in our lives, we make because we’re unsure of who we really are” I thought it was kinda deep.
Quite honestly, when it comes to the question, “what do I want to do with my life?”….I’m not really sure of the answer. that’s another thing about Matt that wows me. he’s wanted to be a rock-star since he was fucking 6 years old. I’ve seen him on stage over 20 times, and each and every time it becomes more and more apparent that HE WAS BORN to do this. anyone who has connected w/ him on some level or another would without a doubt agree w/ that statement. the thing is, I can’t say that about anyone else I’ve met in my life…that so-and-so was BORN to do something…..but it’s sooo obvious that matt was born to do what he does. not only that, but he has so much fun while he’s doing it. i’m sure it’s not an easy life, being on the road probably 40 weeks a year……i give him credit.
We’re supposed to be happy…but just HOW happy??? while the vast majority of modern-day society accepts things for what they are…i refuse to give in. possibly i have unreasonable expectations, but maybe I need to modify some of my goals/objectives/thoughts…….maybe taking a year to travel around the country IS unreasonable……and not very realistic. maybe packing up my stuff and going to California (or some other state) IS kinda wacky….but what’s wrong w/ that? and if those options are unrealistic/unreasonable/wacky….. then what’s the alternative?
i think i’m rambling too much. 5 am. time for bed. there was a point to the whole post but i think it got lost somewhere in the hours that i’ve been doing other things between writing this post. oh well. g’nite 
